Sunday School today. The topic: "The Gathering of the House of Israel".
Teacher: Okay, let's list the sons of Israel. Can anyone name any of them? Without pausing for an answer, he turns his back to us and begins writing numbered blanks on the board. I know we might not know all of them-
Me: Reuben. He's the oldest son of Israel. Reuben.
Teacher: Oh. Okay, good. Any othe-
Me: Continuing Simeon, Levi, Naphta-
Teacher: Cuts me off Levi?
Teacher: No, Levi's not one of them.
Me: Yes, he is.
Teacher: No, he's not.
Me: I promise you he is.
Teacher: Pauses. Hard look at me.
Me: Looks back at him, unwavering.
Teacher: Acquiescing. Okay, Levi. Any others?
Other student: Benjamin.
Another student: Judah.
A pause. I wait in case someone else wants to go, then:
Me: Naphtali, Isaacar, Asher, Dan, Zebulun-
Other student: Are you looking these up?
Me: No. I hold up my iPad screen as proof. We're doing "Joseph" for our musical.
The other students chuckle knowingly. The teacher looks confused. I'm pretty sure he has no idea what I meant by that.
Teacher: Okay. He writes those names on the board. Who is missing?
Me: Gad and Joseph.
Lisa: Under her breath. Go, go, go Joe!