Tuesday, September 14, 2010

High Flying Adored

Scene: Advanced Drama class, first period. The students and teacher sit on the floor of a classroom with a stunning view of the aspen trees that just turned gold this weekend. The teacher holds a clipboard on which she's taking roll. The student to her left raises his hand.

Zachariah: Ms. Waterhouse, for check-in today can we ask who everyone wants to take to Homecoming?

Me: Sure, Zachariah. Start us off.

One by one the students check in, naming current boy/girl-friends, celebrities, or the occasional, blushing truthful confession. Then it's the teacher's turn.

Me: Hello! I'm Ms. Waterhouse. Today I feel accomplished. And I'm chaperoning Homecoming, so I won't be bringing a date.

Students: (Groan)

Molly: Why not? (Other teacher's name) brought her boyfriend last year to all the dances.

Students: Yeah! Who, Ms. Waterhouse? Come on!

Me: Fine. I suppose I'd bring my friend Jason.

Students: Whoo!

Sean: So are you bringing him?

Me: No. He lives in DC.

Sean: We can call him for you, Ms. Waterhouse. We'll ask him for you. Who's got a cell phone with reception here?

Cody: (Scoffs) That's so junior high! 'My teacher wants to know if you'd go to the dance with her.'

Sean: Would he say yes, Ms. Waterhouse?

Me: Given the price of plane tickets, probably not.

Kalen: What if we paid for his ticket?

Sean: Yeah! If we pooled our money and paid for his plane ticket, would you bring him to dance with you?

Me: (Re-directing) Okay, and that's us! Let's talk about the field trip next week....

That evening, Jason happens to call to discuss other matters and I relate his narrow brush with chaperoning duties. He enjoys the tale, and says that if they pay for it, he's game for a free trip to Denver.

The next day, same setting.

Me: Guess what? I talked to my friend Jason last night. He says if you pay for his plane ticket, he'll come to the dance.

Sean: If we do, will you make out with him?

And... scene.