English Major Alert!

I just discovered the Fake AP Stylebook on Twitter.  It is highly entertaining, as you can see in the examples below.  Please to enjoy:

• Boring literary works can be improved by adding -izzle to their titles: Ulyssizzle, Moby Dizzle, Hizzle of Darknizzle.
• Dates should be formated as MM/DD/YY except for the years 1990 through 1992, which should be denoted in 'Hammer Time.'
• "Among" if you're in normal society; "Amongst" if you're in a period drama made by the BBC.
• When writing about a stabbing victim's "fountain of blood," be specific. What kind- Drinking? Soda? Decorative?
• Refer to him as "President Obama" when he first appears in an article, "Soul Brother Number 1" in subsequent mentions.
• The distinction between "thee" and "thou" depends on which Ren Faire troupe you belong to, you big nerd.
• The numbers one through ten should be spelled out while numbers greater than ten are products of the Illuminati and should be avoided.
• "Lego" is the plural. There is no singular because what the hell can you do with only one of them?
• The plural of TARDIS is still TARDIS, but it stands for "Time and Relative Dimensions in Spaces."
• The plural of July is "Steves." I know that doesn't make sense, but that's our crazy English language for you.
• Before using public domain works in your story, wash your hands. Other people have to use them too, you know.
• "Frak" should only be used if you're fighting Cylons. Are you fighting Cylons? Yeah, didn't think so.
• The proper use of (R) is when stating something a pirate might say. "That squid had a face a mile long, he did (R)."
• Dr Pepper doesn't have a period in it. An easy way to remember this is 'Doctors are dudes and dudes don't get periods.'
• The Channing is a unit of punctuation used whenever an exclamation point is insufficient: The mayor was arrested today, RASPBERRIES!
• Always remember to close all parentheses. We're not paying to air condition the entire paragraph.

I expect everyone to make proper use of the Channing from here on out.