I'm Home!

Uniqlo

A little shopping...

Given that we bought gloves, scarves, socks, and sweaters, you can probably guess what the weather's like.

Also, you don't see me trying things on because I am holding all the stuff.  Because we're gender-progressive like that.

One Succeeded

Welcome to Chicago

What does one do when one of one's traveling companions announces he is hungry upon arriving at the hotel at 12:30 am?

One goes to Pizzaria Due, of course:

And then one gets slightly grumpy about one's inability to stay up late when one wakes up just a few hours later.

But then one goes in search of a bakery. Preferably French, one thinks.

Name That Airport!

(Granted, I narrowed the field down to two for you in my previous post.)

A Quick Trip

Jason, Justin, and I are off for a quick weekend in Chicago!

The forecast is:

so you can see we times it perfectly. :)

I gave myself a birthday present while I'm was at the airport:

After discovering that the $85 fee is good for five years, I decided it was worth it given how often I fly.  Should kick in in a week, so I'm psyched to try it for my crazy holiday itineraries!

Oop, there's my boarding group.  See you in the Windy (and Rainy) City!

Now It Feels Like October

Hello, snow.

Now We Are 36

It's my birthday!

And it's oh, so unbelievably nice to be happy on my birthday.
 
 As a rule, I'm not fond of ages that are even-numbered.  Happily, while I wait for the gloriously prime-numbered 37, I can bide my time at 36 knowing that it's the result of 13 x 3.

And I celebrated in three parts.

Part 1:  Dinner with the Family

My parents came over for Brian's memorial Saturday.  We did a bit of shopping prior to the show where my mom spoiled me with clothes, then afterwards the family and I went out to dinner at Ted's.  The boys were squirmy, of course, but their buffalo burgers are tasty and the company was delightful.


Part 2: Shakespeare in the Parking Lot

It is not entirely a coincidence that when DCTC contacted me to see if I'd like to have a troupe of actors come to our school to perform a 45-minute version of "Romeo and Juliet" in our parking lot, I booked the show for my birthday.  You know, a bit of a Shakespearean treat for myself.

Six actors performed three times for all of the English and Drama classes 1st, 2nd, and 3rd hour.  It was bare-boned (albeit with a nice portable sound system!), gritty, fast-paced, and the kind of show I'm a sucker for.  I mean if I'm the type of theater-goer who eagerly and gleefully seeks out the chance to watch King Lear in a garden in the rain or The Alchemist in a flooded basement of an office building, of course I'm going to enjoy watching Tybalt die on the back of a pickup truck after a well-choreographed knife fight.

The Nurse and Juliet

The "Wherefore Art Thou, Romeo?" speech (note the windows to set the scene on the balcony)

Romeo and Juliet

It was windy and cold and the sun stayed hidden, but the rain waited until the very end of the last performance to show.  The students huddled in their shorts and hoodies (because of course) and under whatever blankets we teachers could scrounge up for them (my contributions included the emergency flannel blanket from my car, the Blanket Statement Rachel gave me a few years ago, the sheets I keep in my classroom for emergency togas/ghosts, and the red curtains I keep in my classroom for emergency fabric blood).  The actors, meanwhile, donned more and heavier layers with each performance.  We were frigid by the end, and Stuart, the poor stage manager working next to me, kept doing silent lunges and squats between sound cues to try to stay warm.  In our post-show discussion, I learned that my students had the same thought I did when Juliet died: at least by pulling Romeo's corpse up against her, she probably got a little warmth.

Like I said - I loved it.

The theatery day continued even in Mythology.  We started reading Zimmerman's Metamorphoses, and it's full of enough narration that we could do a bit more than just sit at desks and read.

That's Cyex, for example, on his ship sailing away from Alcyone with enthusiastic oarsmen at his feet.

It was a fun day at school.

At home, I was pleased to discover my new dress purchases had finally cleared customs and arrived.  I  tried them on, confirmed that one would definitely be my new Opera Dress...

then changed back into comfortable clothes for...

Part 3: Virgillio's with People I Love

Fara informed me about a week ago that I would be picked up for dinner around 6:30.  Not only do I get the pleasure of great company and good food, but I don't have to make any decisions or worry about pleasing everyone!  A marvelous gift.

Fara, Lisa, Tammy, Kristin, Rachel, and I enjoyed Italian food and good (and enthusiastic, particularly when talk turned to the local school board recall) conversation.  I adore these women, and it makes me happy to have so many of the people I love be together in the same place.

Rachel and Lisa had to take off after dinner to be responsible adults, but the rest of us went in search of frozen yogurt so we could hear details of Fara's recent presentation at Sunstone.  Kristin drove me home at the surprisingly reasonable hour of 9:45, and I tucked myself into bed with the satisfaction of a very happy birthday indeed.

Proof of My Growing Ability to Let Others Do It Instead of Me

I asked him to put a colored dot on each of five folders to coordinate them with the map for our home speech meet tomorrow.

I did not anticipate it taking 4 minutes to do.

At least it won't be hard to spot the right folder.

Oy.

We're at the first speech meet of the season at a private Christian school in Denver, and I'm sitting across from this terrible pun:

Exponent II For Sale

They updated the online store; so if you'd like to get a copy of the summer issue with my article, head over here:

http://exponent.hyperingenuity.com/store.cgi

Retro Day

I decided to harken back to the late 80s/early 90s for this particular "Spirit Day."

Note the Punky Brewster-esque footwear.

Purchasing Exponent

Many of you have very nicely asked where you can get copies of the Exponent II magazine.

As far as I know, the only place to buy them is here:

http://exponent.hyperingenuity.com/store.cgi

but they have not updated the website with the latest issue yet (you want the Summer 2015 with the proud blond against a black backdrop instead of the lady with the square on her face).

Conference Time Again

I've got about 45  minutes between parent-teacher conferences this evening, and I'm caught up enough in planning and grading to allow myself a few minutes to tell you about this school year.

My planning period is first hour this semester, which I don't mind.  It's nice to have time in the morning to make sure I have what I need for the day ready to go.  Plus, I actually eat breakfast.  I've taken to keeping some cereal/granola in my office, a carton of milk in the mini-fridge, and a bowl and spoon.  I don't have to force-feed myself at 5:30 AM, nor do I just skip eating until lunch at 12:30.  It feels like a more civilized way to begin each day.

Second period is Advanced Drama.  I have a great, if eclectic group of 14 kids this term.  There are some really talented die-hards in there and some green newbies to the world beyond Drama 1.  What's tricky is that there are only 3 boys and 11 girls.  That is not a great ratio when it comes to finding plays.

Happily, though, the stars aligned for me.  I've been sitting on Mary Zimmerman's "The Secret in the Wings" for a while now waiting for the right group to do it.  Not only does it suit this class well, but we're going to see Lookingglass Theater's production of Lookingglass Alice at the DCTC next Wednesday.  With Mary Zimmerman working so closely and so frequently with Lookingglass Theater, it's the perfect chance for them to both see and to play with that type of theater.

My third hour is probably my trickiest this term.  It's Speech, and I have the usual array of smart kids, veteran speechers who repeat the elective, and shy kids who are trying to break out of their shells.  The problem is I also have four sophomore football players and one football wanna-be who are upset that they're in the class.  They're disruptive, defiant, and rude; but the only other elective offered that hour is Jesse's guitar class and he's got the other half of this bad set of sophomores (the slacker/stoners of the group).

It's a battle, but I'm optimistic for the long term.  I'd hoped that a month into the class they'd quit complaining when I ask them to stand up for warm-ups ("But I'm tired!") or to time their pieces ("But I don't want to perform!") or to find a piece in the first place ("But I don't want to be in this class!").  My response is a constant, "Tough.  You're here, and I expect you to participate."  I'm upping the disciplinary consequences now that we've established that they're here to stay and I'm not cutting them slack.  I don't think their attitudes will change, but I think they will quit sucking away the pleasure and the progress the class offers all the other kids.

4A is a brand-new class.  The counselor last year was desperately seeking options for new electives.  I tossed out a few ideas while chatting with her one day, then to my surprise discovered them all on my schedule for this year.

This one is fun, though.  After many requests from the Humanities students, we're doing a World Mythology course.  Like my first time teaching Humanities, I'm constantly racing to stay at least one day ahead of them in the curriculum.  Of course, there is no actual curriculum for me to pull from; I'm creating this class from scratch.  I enjoy the subject matter quite a bit, though, and I'm finding some good resources.  The reviews from the students are positive so far, despite the class consisting of everyone from low-level freshmen to gifted seniors.  Whoo boy, talk about differentiating expectations.

We started off with a unit on archetypes and tropes to compare creation myths across several cultures, then focused in on Egypt.  They took that test today, and now we're diving into my comfortably familiar Greek territory.

4B is Drama 1.  It was broken into two sections each semester last year, which I surprisingly didn't like.  By putting them back together I have a relatively big group (32 kids vs. two groups of 15 or so), but I find the energy much healthier.  When the kids are starting out, there's safety in numbers.  They're far more willing to play and be silly and take the risks drama requires when there's a big group doing it.  It's nice to have the type of beginner drama class I'm used to rather than the constant fighting for participation and focus last year's groups demanded.

Speech team practices are going on with our first meet coming up in two weeks.  The kids are still largely in the hunting-for-pieces phase, but there's a lot of enthusiastic and pretty talented newbies to the team, which is nice to see.  There was a bit of a lull the last few years (for instance, I'll only have one varsity senior next year.  Weird!), so this gives me hope for the talent pool to deepen again.

And, naturally, I'm already planting the "you should try out for the musical!" seeds, especially with the boys.  The kids are eager to hear what it is, but we're keeping it under wraps until the end of October.  The secrecy creates so much good buzz that Jesse and I don't want to lose the good publicity.

And that's this term!  Overall, a bit of a challenge but not really a new one.  Just enough to keep me on my toes and to keep up the demand for my creativity on stage and in the classroom.

Published!

So, this happened:

That's a talk I gave in church back in May, now published in this:

They run a Sabbath pastoral section for Sacrament meeting talks.  I spoke on Mother's Day (yes, Mother's Day.  That was a bit of salt in a wound), and immediately afterwards Fara approached me about getting the talk in the Exponent.

I was asked to speak about "The Divine Nature of Women."  Since I was loathe to perpetuate the patronizing "women are such wonderful, angelic creatures" hyperbole, I flipped a couple of words around and spoke instead about Frye's theory of green spaces in Shakespeare and how that could relate to the biblical story of Hagar.

I was particularly curious to see what they would pick for pull quotes.

Look at that!  Words I wrote are centered between two columns.  Woot!

A Fragile Thing

A month!  My goodness, it's been a month.  This school year is moving at an odd pace.  The days each go quickly, but the weeks take forever.  It's not a good thing to wake up thinking, "Friday at last!" only to recall that it's actually Tuesday.

School is going well.  More than that, I'm enjoying my job again.  That's due to what is probably the biggest news of the month, despite being so very small - I finally found a medication combination that works.

A little over a week into dosage/type adjustment no. 8, I suddenly realized that I felt happy.  Moreover, I had felt happy for about three days at that point.

I don't know if I can explain how astounding that was.  In the last three-plus years I couldn't honestly say that I felt happy or even just good.  There was one moment, less than a second really, while on the ski lift to the Great Wall that I suddenly felt a flash of happiness.  It came and went so quickly, but was so powerful I couldn't claim that it didn't exist.  The realization that I maybe could feel happiness still and, moreover, what happiness actually felt like almost brought me to tears.  It's like I had spent the last three years convincing myself that Twizzlers taste like real strawberries, then biting into a sweet, plump, beautifully ripe strawberry.  It was so good it hurt.

Luckily, just at that moment Jason reminded me casually that we were dangling from a metal chair dozens of feet above wild Chinese forest.  My need to tightly grip the side bar and to studiously avoid looking down overtook my teary gut response.

When I realized in August that the meds were working, I didn't say anything to anyone for a while.  It felt too fragile, too delicate to risk upset by discussion.  I didn't believe that the happiness would stay.  It couldn't stay, could it?  Three years of not feeling like myself; of finding Juliet's plea, "I long to die!" running through my mind; of this:

(source)

 It's me watching a midnight showing of "Inside Out" with a bunch of students in New York and crying as quietly as I can so they don't realize their chaperone has tears streaming down her face because all I could think was that Joy wasn't temporarily lost in my memories.  Joy was tied up and gagged in a closet somewhere and I had no idea if I'd ever get her back.

 The really screwed up thing about depression is that it's in the mind.  And I don't know about you, but my existence, my identity, my entire sense of self is very much in my mind.  Which meant that a lot of the past eight months has been consumed not only by trying new meds and trying therapy and trying, trying, trying to get better; but also by constantly trying to believe that what I was feeling wasn't me.  That it wasn't part of growing up or being single or being a terrible person or being who I deserve to be am.  It's an illness.

If I had a broken bone I could point to it and say, "This splitery white thing sticking out of my leg with all the blood?  It's not supposed to be that way.  Let's fix it."

Depression is physical.  It's caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.  But it's really, really hard to believe that when it's not visible or tangible, when it's very existence inherently changes everything you thought you knew about yourself and the world.

Like Allie Bosch said in her incredibly accurate essay, "I gradually came to accept that maybe enjoyment was not a thing I got to feel anymore."  Part of trying to get better was trying to believe that I could be better and that I deserved to be better.

This is all rather horrible, I realize, and I don't mean to bring you down.  I just want to explain what life has been like for me so you could maybe understand how incredible it's been for the last month (MONTH!) to feel like myself again.  I'm not happy all the time - that would also be a mental illness to worry about; but I feel life again.  I care about things and look forward to things and take pleasure in things and I really, really like teaching again.*

And the fact that I can say that when I've been battling illness for the last three weeks tells you something.  An illness that has been diagnosed by well-meaning yet unsolicited people as

• A cold
• A sinus infection
• Allergies
• Pneumonia
• Walking pneumonia
• Communal pneumonia  ("It's a new breed!" the convivial wee Germany lady said.  "Everyone's got it!")
• What you get when you teach for a living

Personally, I'm pretty sure it's bronchitis.  I'm also pretty sure it's the fault of my adorable-yet-diseased two year old nephew.

The one thing on which all of those well-meaning people agreed was that I should go see a doctor.  They are probably right, but I won't.  If it's viral, there's nothing they can do.  If it's bacterial, well, surely I'm almost over it at this point anyway, right?  It's not like they can keep me from losing my voice at school or heal my bruised-from-coughing-so-much ribs or anything.**  I'll just put my shoulder to the wheel and push along.

Besides, I've had enough of doctors for the time being.  I'm ready to be well.




* I also learned by a rather close shave that it is not wise to make make major life decisions like moving or changing careers while depressed.  Good grief, wait until you're back to normal before deciding that will fix everything.

** What's the saying?  "Cobbler's children go barefoot and doctor's children die young?"  Something like that.  I'm pretty sure I read it in a L.M. Montgomery novel.

Classroom Ready

So, I'm not doing so hot on the sleeping front.  Wednesday I woke up at 3:30 AM and could barely manage a doze after that.  This morning I slept until 6, but that was only because of the sleeping pill I took at 12:30 after trying to fall asleep unsuccessfully for three hours.

Tonight's Back to School Night.  I think my room is ready: 

I've hung my newest show posters:

and the spiffy poster I picked up in Stratford-upon-Avon:



On my parents' suggestion, I added stars to mark my Shakespeare shows:




Gold for shows I've seen, red for shows I've directed or acted in.  I was going to put a star for each occasion of each show, but realized I didn't have enough room on "Romeo and Juliet" or "Midsummer" to mark all of my productions.


I also added my new Chinese shadow puppets to my wall collection:




I like my desk area.







I'm especially fond of this little fellow, a birthday present from Rachel:

Alright, time for a quick dinner and then time to meet the newbies!

Dear High School Self

Our school counselor sent out a request.  She's putting together a bulletin board and asked each teacher to write a short motivational note to our high school selves and to contribute a photo from those days gone by.


Dear My High School Self, (I wrote)

Don't worry - all of the hard work will be worth it. 
College is absolutely fantastic!


Being a bit indecisive, I gave her a choice between two photos.  This one is my favorite of the two:

but I wasn't sure if having two people in the photo would be an issue, so I also sent her this:

I'm curious to see which one she picks as well as what the other teachers have to say to their high school selves.

Back to School

The collective conclusion seems to be that this summer went by way too fast.

Today was our first teacher work day back.  We had many meetings, naturally, and just enough time inbetween to create a massive To Do List.  I congratulate myself on stopping for five minutes to eat half a sandwich for lunch ("No!" I told myself sternly.  "You will NOT start the school year off by working through lunch on your very first day back!") and for leaving at the reasonable hour of 4:00.

I was not as effective in reviving my school sleep habits last night.  Due to fretting over the afore-mentioned To Do List, I didn't fall asleep until near midnight and I woke up a little after 4:00 AM.  Remarkably for me, there was no going back to sleep at that point.  But at least I got to school early enough to get some things done before the first meeting!

My summer was really pleasant.  As you saw, there were many travels.  Many, many travels.  Three continents, five countries, and enough nights on the road that when I pulled a load of laundry from the dryer last week it felt really weird to just put my clothes away in the closet instead of in a suitcase.

I purged my closet and dresser and passed on 3 trash bags of clothes to Goodwill.  I potted the vases I bought in China, read several thousand pages of just-for-fun reading, rewatched Season 1 of "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," and fought an ongoing fight against the fruit flies that snuck into my home.

Sigh.  It was nice while it lasted.

Farewell, summer 2015.  I hardly knew thee.

A Packed Four Days

Boy, we've been having fun exploring the UK.  Let me explain.  No, there is too much.  Let me sum up:

Oxford

Botanic Gardens (which were awesome)

Pitt-Rivers Museum

Stratford-Upon-Avon

A terrific production of "Merchant"

Shakespeare's Birthplace:

Hay-on-Wye (Wales)

Books!

Trefriw

Wool Factory/Museum

(Rachel - this really made me miss you!)

Conwy Castle

(The most castle-ish castle I've seen in a long time!)

Dublin, Ireland

Temple Bar

(Bars and Music - reminded me of New Orleans)

Food Tour

National Archeological Museum

Oscar Wilde Memorial

National Gallery

Phew!  Tomorrow we're taking a day trip to Newgrange.  Off to bed now.  Sleep tight! (The origin of which I learned in Shakespeare's parents' bedroom!)