Some Say

While riding home from our speech meet this weekend, I realized that about 1/3 of conversations with my two assistant coaches is about the past. Former students, former meets, and I've heard "of course, the team was a lot larger back then" at least 20 times this year.

They usually don't mean anything by it, and I understand their nostalgia, but it's exhausting to constantly listen to. Some of it's the Rebecca syndrome - I tend to assume that everyone is comparing me to the former speech teacher and that she always wins. I listened to one of my team captains today exclaim how she's surprised they "haven't lost too much" this year, even though they were working without the former teacher.

I keep pointing out that taking 2nd place out of 15 teams isn't losing. And that we've won first place in all but two meets this year. And that we've competed in a lot more tournament (re: bigger schools) meets this year. And that we're competing with less than half as many kids as in the past, which cuts down on the whole winning-by-sheer-numbers thing. Still, in their eyes, things just aren't as good as they used to be.

The State meet is this weekend, Friday and Saturday. In getting ready for that, I worked straight through my prep and lunch. Between the low blood sugar and my exhaustion from working all weekend, I couldn't walk down the stairs at school without gripping the handrail to keep my balance. One of my freshman boys came up to me in class with arms outstretched and announced, "Slaughterhouse, you look like you need a hug." I ate my tangerine while coaching a student in poetry and my string cheese on the drive home.

It was an exhausting day. In fact, as soon as I finish updating you (complaining to you?), I'm heading to bed. This week is going to be brutal, and next week are auditions. I might be able to catch my breath on February 6, though.

This is a downer of an entry. Sorry about that. I'm really quite tired and a lot of that exhaustion is emotional, I think.

In happier news, I get to see some former STMS friends tomorrow night - Brenda's in town visiting, and we're gathering to say "Hey." I'm really looking forward to it.

And now I'm going to bed.