Book Report

Linda and I went to Tattered Cover last night to attend a book signing by Jeff Kinney.
See? Here he is:



He also had his brother and a friend from his youth with him, both of whom are featured in the books:

(And, honestly? The friend is kind of hot. He smiled in a very nice way at me, but it might have been because he was wondering "Why is there a clearly adult woman standing in a line of children, none of whom are attached to her?" He's the blurry one in the blue sweater. No athletic, muscular guys for me - nuh-uh. My genetic selection wiring is set to Nerdtastic!)


Who is Jeff Kinney? He wrote this book series:

which is hilarious! I read it after the signing last night, and it is awesome. You should read it, too.

Okay, speaking of reading books last night, I should reflect a little bit here on my addiction. Normally, I read evenly - every day, here and there, healthy doses. However, the past two weeks or so have found me in a massive binge-and-purge cycle of reading. I think it's stressed-related. I've read... wait, let me count... 10 books in the last two weeks. and they're not all quick reads like "Diary of a Wimpy Kid," either. That's not healthy, if only because I wind up staying up way past my bedtime because I'll say to myself, "You'll just lay awake thinking about the book if you don't finish it, so you might as well finish it." And I readily give in, even though I am 100 pages from the end.

The 10 books have all been good ones. John Green is an especially favorite new author of mine. He wins the Kundera Best Title Award (for "An Abundance of Katherines"), and "Looking for Alaska" is a great read in the vein of "Thirteen Reasons Why." Plus, his books are narrated by gifted, intelligent teenage boys. It's refreshing because 1) most books narrated by gifted, intelligent teenage boys are in the sci-fi/fantasy genre (see Harry Potter, Ender's Game, Pendragon, etc.) and 2) I think reading about how/what gifted intelligent teenage boys think is fascinating.

I'm just worried, though, because I can't exactly pinpoint what's causing me to do so much reading suddenly. Yeah, I have some guesses. The fact that I keep slipping up and calling my new principal "Howard" might clue some of you DPJH-people in on some of my current stresses. Still, stress is not an anomaly in my life. So why the insatiable reading? And why did I spend 3 hours on a Monday night waiting to see an author in bookstore filled with 500 tweens?

Chatting with Linda over a white chocolate steamer was a nice reason. But in between paragraphs of our conversation? I was thinking about reading a book.

Wanting Things

I love my Kindle. I really, really do. It has served me well the past 13 months and is really one of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten. Just this week I read another six books on it, luxuriating in my ability to get a new one without leaving the house (talk about enabling an addict!).

But have you seen this?



It's so pretty and new and doesn't have the annoying long "Next Page" button on the right that I hit accidently and... sigh. I kinda get now why a person might have an affair.

Lloyd Webber

I would normally just put a link, but this one's good enough to post the entire message:

from McSweeney's

EXCERPTS FROMTHE COLLECTED
ANSWERING-MACHINE MESSAGES
OF LYRICIST TIM RICE.
BY JULIE KLAUSNER AND RACHEL SHUKERT

- - - -
August 12, 1967

Timothy? Is that vous? Fetch the crayons, Timothy. It's Andy Lloyd Webber.

Guess what I have? A ghastly idea for a show. I'll need you to make some sketches. Crayons, Timothy!

Now: Joseph. Not Stalin! The Jew, from the Bible. Yes, Tim, I read the Bible every day. But this is new! I mean old! Old Testament. Ahem. Do you know what Joseph had that we don't? I'll give you a hint. A waistcoat? No! A dreamcoat! A coat made of dreams. It was red and yellow and green and brown and purple and gold and ochre and green and blond and black and poop and pee and cinnamon red and red and red and dragons and bugs and teeth and teal and lemon and black and white and mauve ... Where was I? Oh, yes. Dictation, Timothus!

We need to discuss the Joseph Stalin musical set in Jewish times with Jews, remember? Get out your grease pencil. There will be a narrator. The narrator will be played by a sprightly he/she in harem trousers and a fez. She—or is it "shim"?—will look exactly like Markie Post. Who is Markie Post? I don't know, Tim! I don't know! But the name came to me in a dream. Do you know what this means, Timaphus? I'm a prophet! A prophet! A—

(Speech is drowned out by the sound of rushing water. A bloodcurdling scream, then silence. Beep.)


June 16, 1969

(Prolonged coughing fit. Spitting.)

Tim? It's Andy. Good news, old chum! Guess where I am and guess what I'm reading! The desert! And the Bible! You see, I've been eating peyote, Tim-Tim, and I have a terrible idea. Are you ready? Write this down. Write my vision down! Jesus, Tim. Have you heard of him? Oh, you have? Fine, fine. But have you ever noticed that he and Jim Morrison are the same bloody chap, Tim? Tim! Think trousers, Tim! Tight, tight unguent trousers. "Unguent" not the right word, you say? Well, you're the bloody lyricist—act like it! Mary Magdalene needs a headband and a song about ointment. Or unguent, if you like. The tune should go like this: "Dah ... dah dah dah dah ... daahhh dahhh!" Get out your typewriter. This is a real parable, mate. Jesus was betrayed—tragically betrayed!—by Ben Vereen. And now, thanks to the me-people, the you-people will finally know the truth!

(Howls like a coyote. Beep.)


November 14, 1979

(Muffled groaning, grunting, huffing, then the sound of liquid "release." Throat clearing.)

Timmmmm. Guess who? Wrong! It's Andy. So. I've an idea. It's awful. Pencils ready? Ready? Ready them, damn you!

(Long pause. Then, in a whisper.)

Cats, Tim. Felines. All sorts. Mewing about in a junkyard. Describing one another. Flitting about acrobatically. Cleaning their fur with their pink tongues. I want actual cats onstage singing songs about what kinds of cats they are! Understood? And if that's not possible, Tim, I want you to write songs for human beings to sing whilst they're wearing unitards adorned with clumps of yak fur and their faces are painted like Ziggy Stardust if he were a chimney sweep. Now. This show won't make a dime and it won't run for more than one night, but I want it to be exorbitantly expensive. Really obscene. You see, I've read a book, Tim. Written by one Eliot, T.S. It's called The Waste Land. But, as I read it, all I could think about was cats. Cats!

(Amid a background noise that sounds like hand-licking.)

Rum Tum Tugger. Mr. Mistoffelees, the magical cat! Skimbleshanks, the railway cat! He hops from one train car to the next, with a spindle and a bean can, the tramp! Name the ingénue after the queen! Cast a belter. The overture should go like this: "Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dahhhh." Good? Great. Go!

(Grunting noise. Sound of dry "release." Beep.)


January 10, 1985

Tim, are you there? Pick up, it's Andy. Oh, bollocks—I really can't be bothered if you aren't even going to answer when I make the time to bloody ring you. Listen, I know that technically you're dead to me, but just for old times' sake I wanted to let you in on what I'm certain will be the most successful show that any human being has ever conceived—though, actually, I'm not really a human being: I'm made out of star stuff and the moon and am also God. So.

(In the background, there's the sound of a gunshot, followed by what sound like the screams of Mandy Patinkin.)

I hope you're in a safe crouch, Tim. We both know how you love to crouch. Ha.
I'm thinking about trains, Tim. But the trains have names. And they are symbolized by people, who are really actors, on roller skates. I'd like the actors to be nude, and if they are not I'll be forced to have you killed.

Do you know what happened to me last night? I had a vision of a masked genius. An angel. Of music, Tim. And he lives all alone in a cellar, with only an organ and a private steaming lake for company, and so he has to symbolically rape an innocent young ballet dancer in order to feed his muse. It's a beautiful love story. In fact, I think it will be the most beautiful love story about symbolic rape ever told, apart from that film with Cher and the deformed boy. And it will run for a thousand years. Oh, by the way, Princess Diana is going to die. She's marked for death and only you can stop it.

(Snorting. In the background, Soft Cell's This Last Night in Sodom LP is becoming louder and louder.)

And do call me back about the singing trains. Ta.

(Beep.)

Just One More

One more addition to my post earlier this week. How could I have forgotten this one?



Everyone sing along!

Wait, what?
You mean your family didn't spend many a car trip singing the entire Pirates of Penzance score along with Rex, Linda, Angela, and Kevin?

Weird.

Grisabella...

Grisabella...
Originally uploaded by chitarita

Is very happy today since

1) it's warm enough for me to open the windows,

2) I spent part of the morning letting her be a lap cat while I watched Burn Notice, and

3) I refilled the bird feeder.

Happy Saturday!

An English Teacher!

A student just made my day.

I am teaching verb tenses today, a task I was rather dreading because
a) it is completely idioic that 8th graders are expected to answer a question like

Which is the past perfect progressive form of the verb?
a) took
b) has taken
c) had been taking
d) is taking

on the state standardized tests and
b) this is stuff that I barely understand, and what I do understand only comes after 20 years of school, studying 2 other languages besides English, and looking up explanations on the internet.

And yet, I must teach it, so I am teaching it. Then, in the midst of explaining the future perfect forms of verbs, a student blurted out, "Miss, this is fun! Why can't we do stuff like this every day?"

!!!

And so I have achieved perfection as an English Teacher. It's all downhill from here - I don't know how I can ever top making verb tenses FUN for a squirrly 8th grade boy.

P.S. Do you know the answer to the CSAP question?

Don't Tamper With My Sister

My sister seems to be having a bad week, and I'm wondering if it's going around. A lot of people I know (including me) are feeling more blue than usual. So I did a little poking around and see what kind of internet cheer I can find.

Let's start with one I've posted about before, but it is my go-to happiness movie:


With the awesomeness that is Pixar, this also always makes me smile:


And the Super Bowl this weekend reminded me of one of my favorite commercials:


Speaking of cats...


Even Scrubs knows the power of the kitten:


If kittens don't work, here's what cheers people up in a musical:


And you can't have tap without:


Then again, you could always get a superhero to shove you in the garbage:


And if nothing else works, well, there's always:

Silly Thoughts

Two things I didn't think I would have to tell middle-schoolers, and yet I did this week:
1) "Pole-dancing is not an appropriate thing to do at school."
2) "Here is another pencil. Do not eat this one."

An observation made by middle-schoolers this week that made me think:
Martin Luther King was a racist, Miss! He doesn't say nothing about Mexicans in his speech - it's all about black people and white people.

Something that made me depressed and a little angry this week:
Reading "Revolutionary Road".

Something that made me happy today:
This.

Something that made me want to be creative today:
This.

Something I'm proud of:
I have worked out for 20-60 minutes every day for a month. Except for two days when I was sick and one day when I worked all day and then flew to DC.

Something that perplexes me:
I haven't lost any weight.

Something I used to do and am starting up again and is making me realize that I am getting old because I'm not as good at it as I used to be:
Brenda, Jill, and I are taking yoga every Wednesday at 4:00.

Thing I realized while meditating at said yoga class, thanks to Meg and the other awesome friends from Camp Shakespeare who reached out when I needed it:
I need to be a drama teacher again.

Statement that has caused a lot of people who know me to say or think "Well, duh.":
See one above.

People who make going to work bearable right now:
Brenda and Jill.

Thing happening at work that makes me look forward to Tuesdays:
Linda is teaching a crash-course in Love and Logic over lunch. I really needed this refresher.

Thing that is making me remember winters at DPJH:
My classroom's heater broke, so I've been teaching in scarves and gloves and layers all week.

Thing I'm supposed to be grading instead of blogging right now:
A test on adverbs, commas, and punctuating quotations.

Thing I heard today that broke my heart:
ST High School needs to cut two positions next year, so they're eliminating band and art.

Cat-reference sent by Teresa this week that made me smile:
Mrow.

Thing that I'm calmer about that I would normally expect:
I've been called as Relief Society president in my ward. Oy.

Thing I wish I could do, but can't right now because of the one above:
Run away to GJ for the weekend to play with Emily and the folks.

Sister I'm really, really glad I get to live by and play with:
Rachel

Places Jason and I decided to go this summer for our "Yay 30!" trip:
Island-hopping around Greece, then into Cappadocia and along the western coast of Turkey.

Places we had to put off because it would be too expensive to fly around so many countries, but by golly, I will get to someday:
Morocco, Egypt, and Israel.

Thing I realized I haven't done when I typed the one above:
I haven't posted the other pictures from DC or written a trip round-up. Whoops!

People who still think Jason and I are/should be more than "friends":
Everyone except Jason and me. And Janelle and Kelley, too. They're pretty perceptive.

Proof that Broadway is not the epitome of good theatre:
Thriller? Really, Nederlanders?

Movie I hope will win Best Picture because I want a reminder that a cheesy happy ending is okay sometimes:
This.

Christmas present I wear a lot because lately I need reminders of happiness:
This necklace from my dad.


Time I used to naturally wake up at:
Around 10:00.

Time I now naturally wake up at:
Between 7:30-8:30.

Time I have to get up for work:
5:30

Place I'm going now because of above:
Mmm... bed....

A Secretary is Not a Toy

(I will be posting more about the DC trip, but first a quick post on this.)

To: President Barack Obama

Congratulations and thank you for all you do.

Your good friend Quincy Jones said: "...next conversation I have with President Obama is to beg for a Secretary of Arts." [November 14th 2008 WNYC interview by John Schaefer on "Soundcheck."]

We the undersigned support Quincy Jones' plea.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
The Undersigned


I first heard about this petition on NPR, and I was torn. On one hand, the arts need more support in this country. NEED it, do you hear me? As a teacher in a school that is not-so-slowly getting rid of anything that isn't covered on the state tests, the arts need to be recognized and supported for what they bring to this country - culturally, fiscally, and emotionally.

On the other hand, it seems twisted to have the arts get more entwined with federal regulators and jurisdictions.

In the end, I signed it. I get it if you decide not to, but please at least think about it. And then go do something creative.

Petition for the Creation of a Position for the Secretary of the Arts

Jason

Jason
Originally uploaded by chitarita

And found a spot!

And found a spot!
Originally uploaded by chitarita

Made it in!

Made it in!
Originally uploaded by chitarita

The push to enter

The push to enter
Originally uploaded by chitarita

Will My Toes Stay Warm?

Will My Toes Stay Warm?
Originally uploaded by chitarita

Behold! Toe warmers!

DC #2

DC #2
Originally uploaded by chitarita

Since we decided definitively to go to the concert tomorrow, despite
the 50% chance of snow, we spent the morning today hunting for
warmth. Those are some of the last handwarmers available in the
greater DC area.

The concert, by the way, will be live-streamed on NPR and broadcast
for free on HBO for comcast providers tomorrow night. You should
check it out and find me in the crowds of millions. :). It's called
the "We Are One" concert. I'll definitely post pics, especially since
we'll be waiting there for a while. With toasty hands, though!

DC #1

DC #1
Originally uploaded by chitarita

Hey-o!

I'm playing with the notion of blogging from my iPhone while on my
current adventure. You may be seeing several posts from me this
weekend. Or you won't hear from me at all until I get home. We'll see.

At the moment I'm in Jason's lovely new apartment in Arlington, VA.
I'll take some pictures of the place for you to see tomorrow.

I got into DC around 10:30, and we were both hungry so we set out in
Jason's little car to find a place open after 11. I spied a glowing
neon 24 hours sign at a hole-in-the-wall kebob place, so we gave it a
shot. It was filled with swarthy, meditteranean men, and it was
good!

Almost, But Not Quite

Neil Patrick Harris hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend. My disgust at SNL outweighed my love of NPH enough that I didn't watch it, but I will read the Mamapop recap. Lo and behold, a clip about Broadway. So, naturally, I feel obligated to put it here:



Good Parts:
Neil Patrick Harris dressed as Mark
Neil Patrick Harris making fun of Mark
Neil Patrick Harris singing
The Chicago ladies was a little funny
The Blue Men were a bit funny, too (although, and I do have to be picky about this, the Blue Men Group is off-Broadway, as was Stomp)
"Yeah, you, the Color Purple guy."

Bad Parts:
Um, Cats closed 9 years ago. And Annie closed years before that. Did you not bother to do any research? Or do you decide not to make a really funny sketch for the thousands of people who do know about current musicals (c'mon! Spring Awakening writes its own jokes!) and instead filled it with passe references for people who might have heard of musicals in the 1980s but who really don't care?
Plus, everyone except Neil Patrick Harris.

I'm going to wash it down with some of this:

(skip ahead a minute or so to get to the clips)

and, of course, some of this for dessert:

(I love Megan Mullally's reactions. And you know she could have sung that right along with them, too.)

The Day Off

Andy came home for Christmas with a cold. Then Dad caught it, then Mom. Rachel came down with it last weekend, so I knew it was only a matter of time.

I'm home today with a cold that made sure I knew who was in charge by waking me up with not one, but two cold sores. The right side of my lips is swollen up like a botox injection gone wrong. Lovely, right?

I was uncertain about taking today off, being a Friday and all. Part of me felt I should just stick it out, stiff upper lip, what what. So I stayed late yesterday readying for a substitute; but I also set my alarm for 5:30 to give a valiant effort to attend the faculty meeting this morning at 7. When it went off, I sat up, dizzy and congested, and reminded myself that the world won't end if I stay home a day. Back to sleep I went.

So I'm curled up on my couch in flannels and sweats, eating an orange because I'm out of juice, and talking myself out of doing ironing.

Wheels of a Dream

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

I especially liked the banners at the convention.

Bonus points if you watched this on your iPhone!

Happy New Year

Well, hello there!

Oh, you good, faithful readers, who keep coming back to see if I'm a) alive and b) blogging. I had good intentions to blog over the break. And, since I don't start work again until tomorrow morning and it's... 7:30 pm, I'm technically still on break and therefore keeping my promise.

Kinda.

A variety of thoughts:

Christmas
Was delightful, as it always is with my family. I am extraordinarily lucky, I realize, and sometimes feel like the wonder that is my family and our Christmases together is fragile, a thinly blown glass ball. I love it, but I worry that at any moment something will happen that will shatter that joy. I think I got my worrying gene from you, Mom.

We spent a lot of time hanging out as a family. We laughed, on occasion, at the picture we made - all six of us together, yet totally engrossed by the little iPhone screens. We also watched a lot of 30 Rock. I got some fantastic presents, I had fun shopping for others, and it was relaxing and without stress and just what I needed.

Our traditional Christmas Eve dinner is pictured, as is the sign from the door of the restaurant.

Salt Lake
Before Christmas, Rachel, Mom, Dad, and I ran up to SLC for a quick trip. We visited with the relatives there and I took the Frontrunner downtown. Exciting!

Actually, I was really impressed with the lightrail. It was behind schedule by about 20 minutes, but it was also snowing at the time. For a stress-free way to go through the valley, not bad. Warm, free wi-fi, comfortable, and I didn't have to deal with traffic.

I met Teresa at the station and we breakfasted and book-browsed at Barnes and Noble, then I met with Heidi for lunch and some much-needed catching up. She also gave me a lovely print of one of her new pieces, a gate of transformation. I love her work. Then on to Kelley's place (or, rather, former place). Ben was out of town (Boo!) but the rest of "Orange Tuesday" met for one more round of Rock Band before Kelley moved to Chicago. Strange how of our group, only Ben is still teaching at DPJH. I spent the evening with Janelle before my family came to fetch me for dinner at the bistro in Sugarhouse. It was a day full of talking and friendship and I loved it. By the way, Orange Tuesday people, I got Rock Band 2 for the Wii from Santa, so if we're ever all in Denver, I'm ready for us!

New Year's
Was spent driving back from GJ. Yeah, it's not the most exciting way to spend the holiday, but the drive was uneventful and that was worth it. Wait, I haven't told you about the Thanksgiving drive yet, have I?

Thanksgiving
The holiday itself was a delight. We made a lot of food and a lot of candy (salted caramels are my new favorite treat). It even included seeing Twilight with Emily (followed by a very late night of reliving our Europe adventure). On Sunday, Rachel and I got into her car and headed homeward at about 10:00 pm. Things were not bad at all until we hit Silverthorn. And the snow. And the skiers. We were stuck in traffic for a very, very long time. At one point, it took us 5 hours to go 7 miles. We crawled towards the tunnel, Rachel did a formidable job driving in horrendous conditions, we put on snow chains all by ourselves, and we peed at the side of the road in the darkness and the cold. We were very rustic. We got home around 8:00 pm, after 10 long, long hours on the road. And that is why I left on New Year's Eve, when the forecasters started predicting snow in Vail starting Thursday.

New Year's, Again
And it's been nice to get some things done before school starts up again. I got a haircut, got my car fixed, bought groceries, made a few meals for the week, and started the laundry pile. And dreaded going back to work. But that's tomorrow.

Resolutions have been abounding on the blogs this week, so I feel compelled to address that.

Instead of resolving new things, though, I want to affirm some things I plan to continue to do. So, this year I will continue to

1) Look for a way to be happy at work
2) Read. A lot.
3) Travel. A lot.
4) Be open to new friendships
5) Keep my old ones
6) Eat consciously
7) Work out
8) Learn new things
9) Try new things
10) Make new resolutions when I feel a need for a change in my life.

And it's past 9:00 now (I do take a while to type these posts, but I also made lemon squares and did some laundry so I'm not THAT slow), so I need to head to bed. Maybe once I start teaching again the work nightmares will stop.

Happy New Year's to you all!

P.S. I got a new phone number with my new phone, so if you don't get an email from me with that new number in the next bit, let me know!